Showing Love to Your Child
Guide F-115
Diana S. Del Campo, Extension Family Life SpecialistCollege of Agriculture and Home Economics New Mexico State University
This Publication is scheduled to be updated and reissued 7/05.Most parents love and care for their children, but sometimes a child may not know she is loved. She may feel that no matter what she does, her parents don't love her. Other times, she may think that her parents only love her when she is good.
Being loved is not the same as feeling loved. It's not enough to know that you love your child...you must be certain that she knows it! To love your child is to let her know you love her.
Many times for a child, the small things are what count. A smile, a hug, and your presence can let him know you love him. On the other hand, your tone of voice, words, or gestures can give your child the wrong message. If you are always in a hurry, your child will think that you are too busy to pay attention to him. If you only show that you love him when he does something to please you, he might start to feel that you are not happy to have him.
Children who don't feel loved behave very differently from those who do. A child who feels loved is not afraid to try new things, and he knows that if he fails, he can count on his parents' support. These children don't need to try hard to prove to themselves and to others that they are worthwhile.
To make sure your child feels loved: Be careful about what your words and actions might say to your child. Don't wait until she does something to please you to let her know you love her. Be patient and understanding about her mistakes. For example, if she spills the milk several times, instead of assuming that she's doing it on purpose, try to help her by giving her a smaller glass. Don't criticize her in front of others. Take time daily to listen and talk to your child and show interest in her activities. Don't be afraid to touch your child, hug her, and kiss her. Let her know that no matter what happens, you will always love her.
Adapted from a publication of the Cooperative Extension Service, University of California, Berkeley, California.
New Mexico State University is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer and educator. NMSU and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating.
Written: January 1996
Reprinted July 2000
Electronic Distribution July 2000